新欢

 

上星期,我的先生有了新欢。

 

他到城里去,给自己买了一个 i-phone

 

整整两天,我们的话题都围绕在新欢上。

 

他的开场白都是:“我需要她,因为。”

 

我的开场白都是:“你为什么需要她?

 

“因为她善解人意。”

 

“因为她可以一直贴近我,温暖我的胸口。”

 

“因为她摸起来很柔顺。”

 

“难道我不够善解人意?”

 

“难道我不够温顺?”

 

“跟你结婚十年了,难道你开始嫌弃这个糟糠之妻?”

 

他马上给我看了一则 Dilbert 的漫画。

 

“我爱上了我的电话。”(I’ve fallen in love with my phone. )

“她让我享乐。她知道我人在哪里。我的触摸她都能回应。她也从不评断我。”(It entertains me. It knows where I am. It responds to my touch. It never judges me.

 

“那么,她简直就像个女人。”(So, it’s like a woman to you.

 

“(比女人)好太多了。你到底有没有在听我说话?(Way better. Are you even listening?

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Janet Williams 張玉雲

I am Janet Williams, an academic living in the southeast of England. I blog about culture, history, languages and my community. I created Chandler's Ford Today. During my spare time, I make Origami. Thank you for stopping by.

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